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- Jul 20, 2018 - Author: Susan J. Elliott JD MEd Pages: 264 Publication Date:2009-05-05 Release Date:2009-05-05 ISBN: Product Group:Book Download.
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Start by marking “Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You” as Want to Read:
Renowned relationship expert Susan J. Elliott, author of Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You, offers several tips for trying to move past the pain and toward happiness.
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A proven plan for overcoming the painful end of any romantic relationship, including divorce, with practical strategies for healing, getting your confidence back, and finding true love
It's over--and it really hurts. But as unbelievable as it may seem when you are in the throes of heartache, you can move past your breakup. Forget about trying to win your ex back. Forget abo...more
It's over--and it really hurts. But as unbelievable as it may seem when you are in the throes of heartache, you can move past your breakup. Forget about trying to win your ex back. Forget abo...more
Published May 5th 2009 by Da Capo Lifelong Books (first published March 30th 2009)
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Best Relationship Non-Fiction 282 books — 466 voters
Best Books for a Break-Up 67 books — 94 voters
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May 01, 2014Crystal Starr Light rated it really liked it · review of another edition
Bullet Review:
DNF at 44% because i think I'm spending more time thinking about the ex reading it than learning how to move on.
This is a REALLY good book for those who have just endured break ups. Lots of good advice, stories, encouragement. That's why it gets 4 stars.
But enough time has passed from my own breakup (which, although happened in a rather abrupt, insensitive fashion, needed to happen long ago), that reading this book just makes me think of him MORE than I do on a daily basis! So inst...more
DNF at 44% because i think I'm spending more time thinking about the ex reading it than learning how to move on.
This is a REALLY good book for those who have just endured break ups. Lots of good advice, stories, encouragement. That's why it gets 4 stars.
But enough time has passed from my own breakup (which, although happened in a rather abrupt, insensitive fashion, needed to happen long ago), that reading this book just makes me think of him MORE than I do on a daily basis! So inst...more
Susan Elliott has a common sense no-holds-bar approach to changing the crazy thinking we sometimes indulge in when going through a break-up. I can say with complete enthusiasm and honesty, my break-up was a gift to me. Susan helped me transform the experience into the best thing that ever happened to me!
There's so many mantra treasures in the book:
A phone call is a request, not a demand.
It doesn't matter.
Keep your side of the street clean.
Love is an action.
Don't give up the day before the mirac...more
There's so many mantra treasures in the book:
A phone call is a request, not a demand.
It doesn't matter.
Keep your side of the street clean.
Love is an action.
Don't give up the day before the mirac...more
Oct 04, 2012Casey rated it really liked it
This insightful book has many good suggestions on how to get past a tough breakup and work through your grief. The author knows how to help people not only from her experience as a therapist and counselor, but as someone who has had to go through a devastating breakup herself. In the introduction, Susan Elliott describes her own experience in great detail, and she includes anecdotes from her past throughout the book.
I think her willingness to share her story really gives her advice an extra ounc...more
I think her willingness to share her story really gives her advice an extra ounc...more
Nov 11, 2017Katie rated it did not like it
Oh dear, I am afraid I did not get on with this book at all. Having just had my marriage collapse I have been reading one self-help book after another for the past few weeks. They pretty well all say the same thing, go through your grieving process, be kind to yourself do some self-analysis, see a therapist, (no surprise as they are nearly all written by therapists) and you will come out the other side a new stronger and by all accounts fitter person. They all recommend exercise, giving up smoki...more
As soon as my pay came in , I went on Amazon to buy a stack of breakup survival books . I heard about Susan Elliot's book on this forum I turned to for help .
I also read ' It's called a breakup because it is broken ' as well , which helped but that was more a fluffy read to cheer you up a bit .
But boy , GPYBU was NOT cheerful at all , it made me really dig deep about the relationship and about my past . And it made me depressed , it brought up emotions that I did not thin that I had inside of m...more
I also read ' It's called a breakup because it is broken ' as well , which helped but that was more a fluffy read to cheer you up a bit .
But boy , GPYBU was NOT cheerful at all , it made me really dig deep about the relationship and about my past . And it made me depressed , it brought up emotions that I did not thin that I had inside of m...more
Nov 25, 2017Allyson Tilton rated it it was amazing
Susan Elliott's book helped me more than any of the other self-help books I read during this very painful process. This is a 'No BS' approach to helping you recover and get your life back to joy and fulfillment. Susan recognizes the time and work needed and understands there is no quick fix when life throws us such a curveball. She offers helpful exercises in order to analyze and understand how we got into such a difficult situation and how best to recover and move forward in a healthy way. She...more
Nov 27, 2016Jody rated it it was ok Shelves: popsugar-2016, on-my-e-shelf, nonfiction
This took me almost a year to read, and I'm still in two minds about it. Some of the advice is great, sure. But I found that I just didn't gel with it for the greater part.
And then, right at the end, in the section on dating:
'When you go out, sit back and relax. If you're normally chatty, try to hold off and listen to the other person. If you're normally shy and reserved, try to take more initiative in the conversation.'
So, basically, don't be yourself. Which is, in fact, quite the opposite of r...more
And then, right at the end, in the section on dating:
'When you go out, sit back and relax. If you're normally chatty, try to hold off and listen to the other person. If you're normally shy and reserved, try to take more initiative in the conversation.'
So, basically, don't be yourself. Which is, in fact, quite the opposite of r...more
This is a very helpful book. If you have been treated as badly as I have in your last relationship, this book helps you pick up the pieces and gives you steps on how to get back on track. I really liked the relationship inventory, and how it focuses on YOU doing the work in order to find out why you might be repeating dangerous patterns and how to find what you need to be healthy and find a way to happiness for yourself. Very good self-help, very straightforward.
Sep 22, 2015Ethan rated it really liked it · review of another edition
It honestly took me months to get through this book. Not because it was bad, but because it hurts to read. It will remind you of your ex over and over but it's essential. You can keep running from person to person and not heal from your past relationship. Or you can read this book and get over your ex and be more happy that you have ever been. Give it a try. It's not easy reading this, specially if the relationship has ended recently. But it's worth the read.
Great book about getting past a breakup. I read it when I was going through one of the worst breakups of my life and this is one of my favorite quotes from the book:
'While there might be things about you that need improvement, that doesn’t mean that you are not a lovable, worthwhile person. In fact, it takes a lovable, worthwhile person to become willing to grow and get better.'
'While there might be things about you that need improvement, that doesn’t mean that you are not a lovable, worthwhile person. In fact, it takes a lovable, worthwhile person to become willing to grow and get better.'
Until this book, I had never had the good fortune to learn of practical and feasible steps to take to get through a breakup. There was so much talk of what I really experience in life and hope to change for the better in the future.
Jul 25, 2011Laura rated it it was amazing
Wonderful book. It was a lil deep for my current situation but the advice in it was awesome. The author really wants you to focus on yourself and gives you hands-on ways of helping yourself. I will refer back to it in the future.
DNF at 62%
The information at the beginning seemed useful but I skipped all the inventory part. Then I reached a point that I did not need to continue with the book anymore. It's not the book. It's just me.
The information at the beginning seemed useful but I skipped all the inventory part. Then I reached a point that I did not need to continue with the book anymore. It's not the book. It's just me.
Jan 01, 2018Joshua rated it it was amazing · review of another edition
I found this book to be very helpful for introspection and development of defenses against doing the same thing again. I will focus on the basics and rebuild my life and not worry about having a significant other. This book is helping me find the basics to work on to build the life I want and feel I deserve, if I put forth the effort.
Great read by a very qualified author!
Great read by a very qualified author!
I was struggling, and still am, I needed help, so I picked up this book. While this isn't the literary panacea for the immense amount of pain that comes with losing someone you love, it is fairly helpful. I found the repeated stressing of having no contact with the ex and the personal inventories to be the most helpful. If you have little to no experience with mental health professionals and various mental health techniques and recommendations, this is actually a decent primer on setting boundar...more
I love this book and HATE THE TITLE. It's just the kind of title that would have turned me off except that 1. It receives amazing reviews and 2. I was in so much pain that I was willing to read anything to find some guidance on how to heal.
The reviews are good for a reason. The exercise of conducting an inventory of ALL your major relationships (parents, siblings, romantic, etc.) to see the patterns and identify larger issues that may be impacting your relationship decisions is so useful. She l...more
The reviews are good for a reason. The exercise of conducting an inventory of ALL your major relationships (parents, siblings, romantic, etc.) to see the patterns and identify larger issues that may be impacting your relationship decisions is so useful. She l...more
Oct 29, 2014Mai rated it it was amazing
Great book with lots of helpful tps for those who are struggling with loss and trying to get over a breakup.one of the most important tips is to take care of yourself , emotionally and physically.also to get over someone , you should do the most obivious thing which is to follow the rule of 'no contact' and stop give yourself excuses to contact that person .the relationship and life inventories are really eye-opening and bring to the surface the issues that need to be tackled
I luv that this boo...more
I felt this book focused a lot on affirmations. Affirmations have never really worked that well for me. So, I was disappointed to see this being a big part of the book. However, I found the 'here's what you can expect while processing a breakup' parts of the book to be very helpful. It was good to know I wasn't losing my mind, but was just experiencing normal responses to loss. At times, I wished this book had a more male perspective. I felt like it was heavily weighted toward a female perspecti...more
May 02, 2012Michael Greenwell rated it really liked it · review of another edition
I'm not a ready reader of self help books, or at least I don't consider myself to be, but this book was helpful at a time in my life when I needed help, and though I occassionally questioned its wisdom and shirked some of its more onerous tasks I cannot deny feeling better having read it. Loss, for me, is a personal thing I yearn to share with the world, a consuming emotion that leaves me unreasonably vulnerable, and this book gave me a bit of perspective, a clinical ledge from which I could bet...more
This book saved my sanity after my first really devastating breakup. I was sure I was going to end up in therapy, but I found this online and the author's manner impressed me and I thought I'd give it a read. Susan Elliott cuts to the chase of issues and doesn't sugarcoat the issues. Thank goodness. If it weren't for her almost abrupt manner, I'd probably still be wallowing in my self-pity instead of doing my grief work and finding out how to change my pattern of choosing unhealthy men. I am sti...more
May 18, 2012Amy rated it really liked itRecommends it for: anyone going through a tough breakup
This is actually a book I'm not wholly done with. I stopped reading it not because it was bad but because it did what it was supposed to do. It really helped me empower myself to move past my experience and I'm at the point where I just want to end it officially, which includes putting away the book. She has a lot of stuff that talked about divorce which I skipped over and also had very extreme examples of bad relationships, but the majority of the book was very helpful. It gives you very good a...more
Jan 17, 2014Cagne rated it really liked it
Good book. The chapter on no-contact was very convincing, along with those about positive affirmations and relationship inventories.
It was nice to include a chapter on boundaries, but like with the chapter on kids, sometimes it drifts into general boundaries, or general parenting, and it gives me the feeling that, while it's still useful information, even just for a refresh, it could have been kept more specific to the book main topic (i.e. spending a page on how to deal with the friend who is...more
It was nice to include a chapter on boundaries, but like with the chapter on kids, sometimes it drifts into general boundaries, or general parenting, and it gives me the feeling that, while it's still useful information, even just for a refresh, it could have been kept more specific to the book main topic (i.e. spending a page on how to deal with the friend who is...more
Mar 10, 2010Izlinda rated it liked it
I started reading this book a while ago. Has some good points, and answers for common questions, but there were other parts I found myself disagreeing with. While she tries to appeal to a broad range of people who will react differently (like different ways of taking care of yourself, different emotional reactions to anniversary break-ups) I found some of the values espoused in this book a little off-setting. The Inventories are a good chapter in this book. The chapter about how to break the bad...more
Nov 25, 2012Mdolfan rated it really liked it
Interestingly enough, some of the stuff in this book is exactly what my therapist has been trying to get at with me or to get me to look at in my life. This has been a horrible year for me personally, both parents tried to die (one was successful), I had major surgery, my best friend moved across the country, I moved, my husband started divorce proceedings, I ended up in an abusive relationship with someone and had to move again.... I needed help. Therapy and this book have really helped me to c...more
Getting Someone Special Back in Your Life
This is an encouraging, endorsing, positive book that reminds you that the first happy person you need in your life is You!
Too often we imagine that without the love of another, we are nothing.
In fact, without self-love, all other loves with be as nothing.
Eleanor Cowan, author of : A History of a Pedophile's Wife: Memoir of a Canadian Teacher and Writer
This is an encouraging, endorsing, positive book that reminds you that the first happy person you need in your life is You!
Too often we imagine that without the love of another, we are nothing.
In fact, without self-love, all other loves with be as nothing.
Eleanor Cowan, author of : A History of a Pedophile's Wife: Memoir of a Canadian Teacher and Writer
I am typically a harsh critic of self-help books, and while I feel that this book could never replace in-person therapy, I have found it to be very helpful in the week following my breakup. I expect that I will be referencing chapters in this book for the next several months, and plan to do all of the work that she outlines. This is a well-written, very empowering book, and I am grateful that I plucked it out of Amazon cyberspace in the doldrums of my breakup. This one has the potential to reall...more
Exactly what I need right now. Making the inventory makes so much sense. It does feel a bit like work, but I am coming to insights so fast. The whole concept of NC was one I adhered to already, but it's great to see this emphasized and my resolve strengthened.
Books such as these contain essential life lessons far more important than most things which are taught in schools. We need to be whole human beings and learn to deal with grief. This book is an excellent guide on that topic and allows me t...more
Books such as these contain essential life lessons far more important than most things which are taught in schools. We need to be whole human beings and learn to deal with grief. This book is an excellent guide on that topic and allows me t...more
Aug 07, 2014Christie rated it really liked it
This is a great read for someone coming out of a breakup. I wish I had read it sooner after my breakup. I think it would have helped the last two months go by more quickly and at a much healthier pace. Elliott has a lot of great advice that seems logical and easy to follow. I'm looking to implement some of what she talks about, like relationship and life inventories and affirmations. I don't normally go for stuff like this, but really felt that I needed some guidance in this area and this book p...more
I was very close to thinking therapy might be in my future, but I took a chance on this book and was not disappointed. After reading the first few pages I felt like I could relate, more than I would want to admit. The book itself was a fantastic read, not only did you get a glimpse of what others have went through (so as to not think your completely crazy)you also have help to get you through a devastating time! I recommend to anyone at any stage of a break-up or in my case a future break-up! TH...more
I first heard of Susan Elliott's blog at iVillage.com 2 years ago. The incredible sharing and caring and posts by this author just BEGGED for a book.
HERE IT IS! The entire program that is on the blog (but blogs are notoriously difficult to search) is here in this book PLUS NEW MATERIAL and lots of good stories from real people.
This is the only book you will ever need to get over a breakup and get on with your life.
Book website
HERE IT IS! The entire program that is on the blog (but blogs are notoriously difficult to search) is here in this book PLUS NEW MATERIAL and lots of good stories from real people.
This is the only book you will ever need to get over a breakup and get on with your life.
Book website
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Susan Jean Elliott (born November 19, 1956) is an American author, media commentator, and lawyer from New York City. She wrote the book, Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss Into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You.
See also Susan J. Elliott, geographer
See also Susan J. Elliott, geographer
“Only consistent, unconditional love is good enough. I” — 3 likes
Getting Past Your Breakup Pdf Download Online
“The truth of relationship healthiness is that water seeks its own level. If you want to know what is missing in you, what unfinished business you have, what your inner struggles are, you need not look further than your partner. If you listen carefully and look closely, usually your choice of mates will tell you what you need to know about yourself. As you grow and change, your choice of mate continues to reflect what you still need to work on.” — 3 likes
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